


Daydreaming

by Aria_Lerendeair



Series: Dreams Verse [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gabriel as Loki, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, M/M, Nightmares, Pagan Gods, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-17
Updated: 2015-05-17
Packaged: 2018-03-30 21:57:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3953278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aria_Lerendeair/pseuds/Aria_Lerendeair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel told Sam that he would help protect his dreams and even keep him from being possessed ever again by Angel or Demon.  That leads to some interesting conversations and a few revelations for Sam he isn't sure he was ready for.  </p><p>One thing Sam is surprised to find himself believing - Maybe he really can trust Gabriel.</p><p>Sequel to Nightmares</p>
            </blockquote>





	Daydreaming

**Author's Note:**

> First sequel fic in what is hopefully a parade of overdue sequels for you all!

 

 

When Sam woke up, his first thought was that he was late.  His whole body felt weighed down, like he had slept for hours more than he meant to.  Fuck had someone drugged him?  Dammit, he should have fucking known he couldn’t trust Gabriel!  

Sam scrambled and reached for the clock at the bedside and froze, staring at the time.  A quick calculation later and he started to smile.  Eight hours.  Eight hours _exactly_.  He let out a breath and flopped back onto the bed, a grin slowly stealing over his face.  Holy shit, was this what a full night’s sleep felt like?  He couldn’t remember the last time he felt like this.  

He rolled out of bed and changed into a pair of sweatpants, heading for the shower.  No sign of Gabriel, or the others in the bunker.  He shrugged and let himself have the luxury of a long, hot shower.  His mind felt relaxed, like all the edges had been smoothed out, and Gabriel had apparently gone the extra mile and healed the rest of his aches and pains.  

Sam wanted to be mad at him, but the angel had helped him out, without asking for anything in return, so he wasn’t going to try to be a dick about it.  Now he just had to find breakfast.  He was starving.  

He was halfway to the kitchen when he realized that someone was already there, and Dean was arguing with them, rather loudly.  

“I don’t care if you think your pancakes are better than mine!  You are going to sit your ass down and eat the pancakes I give you or I won’t make you anymore bacon!” Gabriel said, pointing a spatula at Dean.  

“No way are yours better than mine.  Not unless you altered my fucking tastebuds,” Dean said, crossing his arms over his chest.  

Gabriel rolled his eyes and went back to the stove.  “Go sit the fuck down.  Make yourself useful and start convincing Cas that he needs to have breakfast.”  

“Gabriel I don’t require-”

Gabriel levelled a look at Dean.  “See what I mean?”  

Dean waved a frustrated hand at Gabriel.  “You had better not make a mess in my kitchen!”  

Sam stared as Dean stomped off towards the table where Cas was sitting, thumbing through a book.  Gabriel had turned back to the stove and was flipping what looked like an omelette.  The scene was so unbearably domestic, Sam was sure that his cheeks hurt from grinning so hard.  

“Sam, do you want an egg white only omelette or normal eggs?  Also, pick what you want in them, I have a few minutes while I let Dean’s precious pancakes cook,” Gabriel said, turning to lean a hip on the side of the stove, grinning at Sam.  

Sam swallowed and walked closer to where Gabriel had clearly taken over the kitchen.  “Uh, I mean, whatever they’re having-”

“Not what I asked,” Gabriel interrupted.  “Your brother told me you prefer to have omelettes in the morning, and since I am deigning to cook for all of you, tell me what you want and I’ll make it.”  

“Egg whites?” Sam asked hesitantly.  A dozen eggs immediately appeared next to Gabriel and Sam laughed a little, watching as a bowl popped into existence a moment later.  He swallowed and walked closer.  Gabriel was clearly comfortable with what he was doing, his fingers cracking the egg and ensuring not a single drop of yolk fell into the bowl.  

Gabriel hummed, reaching out with another hand and flipping Dean’s pancakes over.  “I’m guessing that you probably like at least twice the normal amount and you look like skin and bones, so you’re getting at least six eggs and not arguing.”

Sam held up his hands and laughed.  “I feel like I could eat an entire horse, so if you want to do the full dozen, feel free.”  

Gabriel gave him an appraising look and Sam flushed, clearing his throat.  “You don’t have to.  Just, uh, throwing it out there.”  

“Nah, it’s fine, it’s not like I can’t pop more eggs into existence.  Now, what do you want in it?”  

Sam watched as Gabriel went back to flipping pancakes, tossing them onto a plate before adding more batter to the pan.  His movements were quick and easy, like he was used to them, did them often, even.  

“Sam?” Gabriel said, turning to face him again, waving a hand in his face.  “Wanna let me know what you want in your eggs?”  

Sam snapped to attention and gave a sheepish grin.  “Red, green and yellow peppers, celery, spinach, ham and maybe a little bacon if you have it?”  

Gabriel nodded, snapping the ingredients into existence before starting to chop each of them quickly.  “Okay, can do, just do me a favor and lay a few more strips of bacon into the pan?”  

“How come he gets to help you in the kitchen?” Dean called.  

“Because he didn’t barge in here trying to kick me out!” Gabriel said, dancing around Sam so he could flip the pancakes in the pan again.  

Sam laughed and started putting strips of bacon in the pan again.  “Good to know that I am one of the select few who is allowed into the kitchen.”  

Gabriel hummed and nodded, removing the pancakes and adding more.  “Dean, first stack of pancakes is ready!” he called, pushing the plate and syrup down the counter.  “Bacon is going to wait an extra ten minutes or so!”  

Sam watched his brother come in and swipe the plate of pancakes and carry it out to the kitchen.  Gabriel was done with cracking the eggs and was throwing the yolks into a pan with a few more eggs, and then adding egg whites to a separate pan.  “What else are you making?”  

Gabriel grinned.  “Scrambled eggs for me, so I can have your yolks!” he said, rubbing his hands together gleefully.  “Gonna steal some of your vegetables and then I am going to add all of the cheese, since certain moose don’t know proper things to put in omelettes…”  

Sam shook his head and watched Gabriel scramble the eggs in his pan easily.  “Where’d you learn to do all this?”  

“You pick up things after a century or two,” Gabriel said.  “I’ve been a chef in more than one kitchen.  Actually learned some things.  I like cooking, but I _love_ baking.”  

Sam snorted.  “I’m not surprised with your sweet tooth.”  

Gabriel laughed, looking over his shoulder at Sam.  “Someone is feeling better.  Sleep well?”  

“You know I did.”  

Gabriel shrugged.  “Still polite to ask.  Did you?”  

Sam smiled and went to the fridge to pull out his orange juice, pouring himself a glass.  “Of course I did.”  

“Good,” Gabriel said, flipping Sam’s omelette carefully on the pan, watching it cook.  “I’m open to having that talk any time you want, by the way.  Doesn’t have to be tonight, but there’s a few things I can recommend in the meantime to make sure you keep getting proper sleep.”  

Sam stared at Gabriel as he took another sip of his orange juice.  “I don’t get why you’re helping me.”  

“I told you.  Cas has a lethal kicked puppy dog face, worse than yours, even, and I’m tired of seeing it,” Gabriel glanced at the kitchen and snapped, sound proofing the air around them.  “There, now Dean-o can’t listen in, though he’s distracted with Cas anyways.”  

Sam swallowed hard as Gabriel turned away from him, the pans behind him stirring the eggs and flipping the pancakes on their own.  “But that’s not all, is it?”  

“You can’t trust your brother, not fully, and it’s tearing you both apart.  You might have fixed everything with the Mark of Cain, so Dean’s not dying, and Cas has his Grace back, but something is still wrong,” Gabriel said, tilting his head a little as he looked at Sam.  “What is still broken?”  

Sam looked down at his hands in front of him, at the scar that always served as a reminder for the scars on his soul.  “You ever, ever broken something, Gabriel?  Jess, she, uh, when we were together, she had this vase in her room.  I knocked it off the table a dozen times.  Maybe more.  Broke it.  Over and over again.  I made sure I put it back together each time too.”  

He wasn’t sure that he could handle the compassionate look in Gabriel’s eyes, so he swallowed hard and soldiered on.  “Eventually, there was one time I broke it, it, it shattered.  There was no putting it back together.  So Jess went out and bought another vase.”  

Sam cleared his throat.  “I don’t think something is broken, Gabriel.  I think _I’m_ shattered.  I’ve been broken and put back together so many times now…”  He covered his face with his hands.  “I don’t want it to sound like I’m contemplating suicide.  Because I’m not.  But I don’t know that there is any fixing this.”  

Gabriel hummed again and stepped closer to Sam.  “I want to ask a clarifying question, and it’s an important one, Sam.  When you say _this_ , that there is no fixing _this_ , what are you referring to?  Your body?  Your soul?”  

“God, Gabriel, I can’t even imagine what my soul must look like to you,” Sam said, shaking his head sadly.  “I’ve seen souls, I’ve seen how bright they are, how beautiful.  Mine must be, must be almost black, broken and torn apart-”  

“No,” Gabriel said, his voice calm.  

Sam stuttered to a stop and stared at Gabriel.  His eyes were glowing and he squirmed, getting that feeling that he did sometimes with Cas.  That Gabriel was looking at more than just him on the physical plane, Gabriel was looking at all of him.  “No?  No, what?”  

“Do you want to see it?” Gabriel asked instead.  “Your soul.  I have a feeling you won’t believe me if I tell you.”  

Sam swallowed hard.  “I’m not sure I want to.”  He could imagine it, the dark, twisted thing that his soul must be after the torture in the cage, after everything he had been through.  

Gabriel held out his hand.  “Trust me.”  

Sam stared at Gabriel’s hand for a long, long moment.  Trust _him_.  Trust the trickster who had killed Dean hundreds of times.  Or trust the archangel who had kept his promise, had given him eight hours of uninterrupted sleep and had died for them.  

He pressed his fingertips to Gabriel’s palm and felt warmth rush through him.  He recognized the touch of Grace and flinched, pulling his hand back.  It was too late though, the warmth was inside him, but it wasn’t getting hotter, it wasn’t burning, and it wasn’t anything like the coldness of Lucifer’s Grace.  Sam forced himself to take a deep breath.  This was different, this was Gabriel, not Lucifer.  

“Here, Sam.  Look here.”

Sam’s head spun.  It was Gabriel’s voice, but it was also not his voice at the same time.  It was far more and faceted than his human voice had been.  Gabriel sounded both male and female, loud and quiet, the faint echo of a ringing horn in every syllable.  There was a mirror in front of him, spinning slowly until it faced him.  

Sam took a deep breath and tried to prepare himself for what he was about to see.  He opened his eyes and _looked_.  And for the first time, he had no idea what to think about what he was seeing.  

It was light.  Pure, bright light.  The other souls he had seen were almost dim in the comparison of what he looked out now.  Shining, incandescent light.  So bright and beautiful that it took his breath away.  “Gabriel, is that-”

“The only soul that comes remotely close to looking as bright and as beautiful as yours does is your brother’s,” Gabriel explained, careful to stay away from the reflection of the mirror.  “Souls grow stronger by trial, Sam.  You have faced the impossible.  You are strong and you are feared.  Not because you inspire fear, but because of that strength.  Your faith in yourself, what you are capable of, has saved the world once, your brother many more times.”  

Gabriel reached out to touch Sam’s arm, pulling his Grace back from Sam’s eyes so they were human again.  He snapped the mirror away and waited for Sam to turn to look at him.  

Sam blinked several times before looking at Gabriel.  “I…”  

“Your soul has scars.  Your soul has been hurt.  You have been wounded,” Gabriel said, turning back to the stove, grinning at the large stack of pancakes waiting for him and the omelette for Sam on a plate.  “Your soul has not been broken and pieced back together.  Your soul has not been given enough time to heal from the hurts.   _That_ is why you are weary.  That is why it seems as though there is nothing left for you.  You need to heal.”  

Sam sighed and walked towards the stove, reaching out to take the plate that was hovering mid-air for him.  He picked up a knife and fork from the drawer and turned to look at Gabriel.  “I’d like to talk more about what you offered.  This afternoon in the library?”  

Gabriel nodded.  “Of course, Sam.”  

Sam took his breakfast and walked back out to the table with Dean and Cas.  Gabriel joined them a few minutes later and the tension between them disappeared.  

**  
**  


~!~!~!~

**  
**  


Sam was able to see how easily Dean and Cas relaxed, and for a while, the air between them settled back to something familiar.  Something that didn't include the tension of the past few months.  

It might have had something to do with Gabriel.  

Only a small something though.  

It was nice to see Dean and Gabriel both say stuff at the exact same moment to Cas, only to burst out laughing together at his bewildered look.  

It was even better when Dean and Gabriel argued so much over the last piece of bacon that Sam was able to swipe it out from under their hands and have it more than halfway eaten when they noticed.  

Their mutual looks of outrage had had him laughing for over a minute straight.  

Dean had decided to kick Gabriel out of the kitchen and had gathered all the plates up and dumped them into the sink so they could wash them again later.  Sam rubbed his stomach and settled back into his chair, closing his eyes.  He couldn't remember the last time where he had simply been able to relax after breakfast.  

"Gabriel, I am not certain that-"

"Nonsense, this is Dean-o's favorite show," Gabriel said, putting a Doctor Sexy marathon on.  "TV land or not, Dean loves this show, right Dean?"  

"Unfortunately," Dean grumbled, taking a spot beside Cas on the couch, glaring at Gabriel.  

Gabriel snickered and curled up on the other half of the couch.  "You're just mad that you now know these doctors are even hotter in person."  

Dean huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, rolling his eyes.  

Sam watched all of them from the other side of the couch and sighed happily.  This was what he had missed.  There was no thick tension over all of them.  It was almost like things were back to normal.  Not that normal existed for them, but this was close.  

He pushed his chair out and made his way towards the library.  Dean's idea of contentment might be curling up on the couch to watch re-runs, but his was different.  

Sam stepped into the library and took a slow inhale.  For the first time in months, he didn't see thousands of books he wouldn't be able to translate or categorize.  He saw a challenge and he settled into his favorite chair with a book a few minutes later.  

When had this started being one more thing to wear him down and exhaust him?  How had that happened without him realizing it?  Sam shook his head and focused on the book in latin in front of him and grinned as he started to work his way through.  

He didn't even realize that he'd fallen asleep until he could hear someone else breathing in the room with him.  Sam chuckled and opened his eyes, glancing over at Gabriel, sitting in one of the nearby chairs, his feet up on the table.  "You don't need to breathe."  

"It'd creep you out if I didn't," Gabriel said, pulling out a lollipop and popping it into his mouth.  He grinned and settled back in the chair.  "How was your nap?  Dean was going to come wake you, but I waved him off a few hours ago.  He's down in the range with Cas."  

Sam let go of the last of the tension he hadn't even realized he was carrying.  Gabriel knew that he'd needed to know where Dean was and what he was doing to be able to let his guard down.  "Has Cas' shooting improved at all?"  

Gabriel tilted his head and Sam frowned before he realized that Gabriel was actually checking for him.  He swallowed hard and grinned when Gabriel started laughing.  

"Do you want to know what's really going on?"  

Sam raised an eyebrow.  "What kind of a question is that?  Of course I want to know what is going on."  

"Cas can shoot just fine," Gabriel said, dropping his feet off the table, scooting back in the chair.  "He's faking it, so Dean will have to keep teaching him."  

Sam burst out laughing, closing the book in front of him, shaking his head.  "You can't be serious."  

"Deadly," Gabriel said, grinning around his lollipop.  "Come on, you don't think a born and bred warrior of heaven like Cas couldn't have figured out how to shoot a gun straight by now?"  

Put like that, Sam felt a little stupid for not having put the pieces together sooner.  "Dean knows, doesn't he?"  

Gabriel shrugged.  "I think he suspects, but since he gets what he wants out of this too, he's not about to call Cas on it.  Those two need to get their shit sorted out already."  

Sam snickered and stood up from his chair, stretching slowly before putting the book on the table.  "I couldn't agree with you more.  Maybe you can give Cas a nudge in the right direction already?  He needs it."  

"Maybe," Gabriel said, smiling as Sam settled into a chair across from him instead.  "I'll think about it.  I'm enjoying their mutual pining a little bit too much to put a halt to it."  

"I suppose that's fair.  I've just had to deal with it for years," Sam said, smiling when Gabriel winced.  "Yeah, imagine watching what they're doing now for years.  Years, Gabriel.  It's painful."  

"Okay, okay, point made.  I'll give Cassie a kick in the ass and see if it finally gets him to confess his little feathered heart out to Deanster."  

"Thank you," Sam said, picking up another book and tossing it towards Gabriel.  

Gabriel picked up the book and raised an eyebrow at Sam.  "Something I can help you with?"  

"If you're going to sit here and put your feet on the table, you are at least going to make yourself useful," Sam said, his voice prim as he opened up another book.  "Got it?"  

Gabriel rolled his eyes and snapped.  "How about I just put a spell on the book so you can read it?  Makes it a hell of a lot easier on both of us."  

Sam blinked and looked at the book he'd tossed at Gabriel.  Where before, the runes on the front had been nothing but symbols...now, they were bleeding into words.  "Woah."  

Gabriel smirked.  "No need to sound so impressed Sammy.  I could do that to every book here if you wanted me to."  

Sam shook his head and opened the book slowly, carefully.  "No, because I want to make sure I know the original language too.  I want to respect it.  I just want to be able to read it too."  

Gabriel hummed and studied Sam.  Something about the statement, as simple as it was, raised his respect for Sam Winchester a few notches.  He saw the fault of not being able to read the books as his own, not the fault of the books themselves, or those who had written them.  

"All right then," Gabriel said, snapping again.  "I'll alter the spell a little.  How about now?"  

Sam tilted his head and looked at the book.  Now he could see the symbols once again, but where before they had had no meaning, now he could see it.  Almost like he could read the language.  "What did you-"

"Altered the spell a little bit.  You'll still run across some stuff you can't translate, because your language doesn't have an equivalent, but this should cover most everything," Gabriel said, settling back into his chair.  

It was easy to see the way awe crept over Sam's face and the way he itched to dive into a hundred different books all at once.  He was practically vibrating with the eagerness to devour what there was in this library.  "Do books always make you this happy?"  

Sam grinned and glanced up at Gabriel.  "Yeah.  Always have.  Been something Dean has bemoaned since I was little.  I was more comfortable in a library with my head in a book than I ever was in a range with a gun in my hands."  

"Bet that took a while, but it probably came in handy, didn't it?" Gabriel asked, opening a Snickers and taking a bite.  

"Mmmhmm.  Especially when it turned out that I had a head for research.  That became my job more than anything else," Sam said, smiling at the book in front of him.  "I liked it.  It was, uh," he swallowed his next few words and looked up at Gabriel, shaking his head.  

"Sam?" Gabriel asked, watching the human carefully.  

"Sorry, I shouldn't have gotten carried away with that.  You've probably got plenty of other things to do and I had questions for you about what you said last night," Sam said, clearing his throat.  He didn't need to blurt out his life's story to Gabriel.  The archangel could probably care less about anything he was saying.  

Gabriel shifted in his chair, leaning forward with his elbows against the table.  "I don't have anywhere else I need to be, or other things I need to be doing."  

Sam sucked in a surprised breath and the intense attention being leveled at him from Gabriel.  It made him feel hot, and Gabriel's eyes were almost glowing again, just like in the kitchen.  "Right, well, can I still ask you those questions?"  

"Of course," Gabriel said, inclining his head.  

"What does belong to you mean?" Sam asked, blurting out the one question that had been burning in the back of the mind since Gabriel had made the offer.  

Gabriel closed his eyes and settled back into the chair.  "You know enough about souls now to know that they are one of the best currencies on the Supernatural market, right?"  

Sam nodded, staring at Gabriel.  He was faking how relaxed he was.  "Yeah.  Sell your soul to the demon of your choice, gain what you wish, or want.  Basic principle of crossroads demons."  And there, in the back of his mind was the twinge of knowledge and regret of what both he and Dean had done as a result of knowing that.  

"Pagans work the same way.  Souls can be sacrificed to us.  In theory, the more innocent the better, because they tend to burn brighter," Gabriel opened his eyes and raised an eyebrow at Sam.  "There are exceptions, but that theory has held true for thousands of years.  That's where the whole virgin sacrifice rumor comes from."  

Sam tried not to chuckle, but he could imagine what Gabriel was describing all too well.  "So you've...taken sacrifices before?"  

Gabriel tilted his head and stared at Sam.  "Yes.  Many, if that matters.  I am not just an archangel anymore, Sam.  I am a pagan god," he said, his voice ringing with power.  He watched Sam shiver and smirked.  

"Now, what you may not know, is that there are different levels of sacrifice.  When you sell your soul to a demon, it is a two way street.  You are given something for your sacrifice.  However, that something you are given is often temporary," Gabriel shifted again, resting his elbows on the table as he stared at Sam.  

"With Gods?  You either sacrifice yourself, and your soul to the God, and forfeit your life in the process, allowing others to prosper, or you tie yourself to the God," Gabriel explained.  

"Think of the Ancient Greeks, of the legends you have read where humans seem to have a divine protector.  Where they were protected, or spoken to by a God.  Those are a result of sacrifices where the human was tied to the God or Goddess."  

Sam flushed and stared at Gabriel, at the way his voice had deepened, gaining that same tinge that he had had earlier in the kitchen.  That Gabriel was far more than the being that was standing in front of him.  "Right.  So that's what we need to do?"  

Gabriel smirked.  "More or less.  I'd tie you to me, to Loki, and no one would ever be able to claim you again.  I'd kill them first."  

Sam's breath caught and he forced himself to shake his head a little, to break the spell between them.  "And what about the archangel side of you?"  

Gabriel raised his eyebrows and chuckled.  "You are far smarter than you let on Sam," he praised, watching as Sam flushed.  "That is the reason that I have never allowed a human as close as I would you."  

"So, I'd be tied to you?" Sam asked, staring at Gabriel.  For an instant it was almost like he could see Gabriel, see the being that he couldn't fathom in front of him.  Then what Gabriel had said filtered through his mind.  "And you'd be tied to me."  

"Bingo," Gabriel said, grinning.  "And that, for someone as an archangel in hiding is dangerous, but, for you, is exactly what you need."  

Sam swallowed hard.  "What does that mean in terms of the bond, er, whatever it is you want us to have?"  

Gabriel shrugged.  "Might as well call it that, I don't have a better term for it."  He tapped on his lower lip and considered Sam in front of him.  "I'm not entirely sure what it is going to do to you, and to me.  You aren't entirely human."  

Sam flinched and leaned back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling.  Of course.  He'd never been entirely human, and once again the demon blood he'd been given as a baby came back to haunt him.  Flashes of Castiel, when they'd first met him, when he'd been unable to come near him, the vessel of Lucifer-

"Sam!" Gabriel growled, snapping himself into Sam's lap, straddling Sam's legs before he reached up and put his hands on Sam's shoulders.  "Look at me," he ordered, his voice ringing with power.  

Sam gasped, his eyes flying open to meet Gabriel's, the glowing golden eyes that were only inches from him, radiating power and Grace.  He swallowed hard, but didn't look away from the archangel in his lap.  "Yes?"  

"You being not entirely human has nothing to do with the demon blood you were given as a baby.  That has been burned out of you, completely obliterated," Gabriel snarled, his voice low and convincing.  

Sam shuddered, staring at Gabriel, feeling the truth of those words ringing in his very bones.  Whether Gabriel was right or not, they felt right.  "Then-"  

Gabriel scoffed and squeezed Sam's shoulders again.  "Look at me, Winchester."  

Sam forced his eyes to Gabriel's again and felt himself start to spin, lost in the golden eyes that were blazing light.  

"You are the vessel of an archangel.  You are a human that not only overthrew an archangel that had possessed you, you survived centuries of torture at the hands of two of my brothers," Gabriel shifted his hold to Sam's chin, not letting him break the chain between them.  

"No mere human could come remotely close to what you are, and what you have done," Gabriel growled, willing Sam to believe, to understand what he was saying.  

Sam swallowed and shook his head.  "Gabriel, I mean, it's not like I've got angel-"

"Yes you do," Gabriel said, shaking Sam.  "That is what I am telling you.  You have survived things no human could, Sam.  A human mind could not survive the torture you did."  

Sam sucked in another breath, guilt filling him.  Of course he hadn't been able to overcome those things on his own, of course he'd had angelic help, that he wasn't good enough just as he was-

"For fuck's sake!" Gabriel swore.  He leaned closer and pressed his forehead against Sam, breathing against him, slowly.  "Sam.  I want you to listen to me."  

Sam opened his eyes and focused on Gabriel, straddling him.  "Wh-what?"  

"I have never been able to stay away from you two the first time I saw you both," Gabriel whispered, willing Sam to understand, to believe, at last.  "You are a magnet, I have been drawn to you, over and over again.  And even now, after my Father brought me back, you have drawn me in, again.  Do you not recognize the pattern?  You've seen it with another human and angel."  

Sam blinked and stared at Gabriel in confusion.  "You, what?"  Gabriel couldn't mean Dean and Cas, there was no way.  

"In order for a soul to be able to house an angel, or an archangel, there must be hints of Grace in that soul.  That is how vessels work.  The more Grace, the more powerful of an angel they can support," Gabriel growled.  

Sam shivered again, the power in Gabriel's voice making the room thick and heavy, almost like soup.  "Gabriel-"  

“No!” Gabriel snapped.  “You are powerful.  You are bright, amazing light.  You are one of the most beautiful of my Father’s creations that I have ever seen.”  

Sam was swimming, his head foggy and yet completely clear as he focused on Gabriel in front of him.  “People die because of me,” he whispered.  

“People die because of their own choices, Sam.  Not because of you,” Gabriel said, shifting his grip to wrap his arms around Sam’s shoulders and pull him closer.  

Sam let his head fall forward to rest against Gabriel’s shoulder.  The archangel was warm, was so warm.  “You died because of me.”  

Gabriel hummed and tightened his hold on Sam’s shoulders, wrapping his wings around the human, cradling him carefully.  “I died because I made a choice to stand on the side of humanity, Sam.  Because I decided to stand up to my big brother.”  

Sam closed his eyes and breathed in slowly.  The air was slowly returning to normal and he suddenly felt tired, so tired.  “I’m sorry Gabriel,” he slurred.  

Gabriel huffed and shook his head as Sam slumped in his arms, falling asleep almost immediately.  He snapped them into Sam’s bedroom and got the tall bastard tucked under the blankets.  He debated for a second before he dove into Sam’s arms again, cuddling up as soona s Sam pulled him closer.  

Sam’s soul was finally starting to get some of the rest that it so desperately needed.  Gabriel settled in to wait until Sam woke up.  This time, he wasn't being put under artificially, but he could make sure that Sam didn't have any nightmares.  

**  
**  


~!~!~!~

**  
**  


Sam blinked awake when he found himself in the Stanford library and looked around.  He tensed and gripped the table.  This was how it always started.  And then Lucifer appeared and the room started to burn before other things-

"Do you always look so tense when you're in a library?" Gabriel asked, flopping into another chair.  

Sam frowned as he took in the sight of Gabriel in tight jeans and a band t-shirt on and a hoodie.  Gabriel looked like any of his friends on campus.  "What are you doing here?"  

Gabriel shrugged and glanced around before snapping up a lollipop and sucking it into his mouth.  "You fell asleep during our conversation in the library.  I mentioned you being exhausted, right?  Since I didn't put you out, I figured I'd hang around and make sure dear brother didn't interrupt your dreams."  

"You're...protecting my dreams?" Sam snorted and looked around.  "Right, what's your game, Gabriel?  Am I supposed to play along so you can hand me over to Lucifer?"  

"Nope!" Gabriel said, pulling the lollipop out of his mouth.  "I'll stay in the background if you want, but I'm just letting you get some sleep.  Granted, your cuddling is pretty aggressive, but I certainly don't mind."  

"C-cuddling?" Sam asked, hating how his voice stuttered.  

"Yup.  I did it last night too, but figured you would want to wake up and see me all cuddled up in your arms," Gabriel said, shrugging.  

Sam shook his head, rubbing at his temple.  "Why are you telling me this?"  

"No point in lying here," Gabriel said, tucking his hands behind his head.  "Why, do you want to wake up cuddled to me?  I can arrange for that to happen."  

"I don't know what I want," Sam admitted, then scowled.  He hadn't meant to say that.  

"I can tell."  

Sam glared at Gabriel and grabbed two of the books in front of him, shoving them into a backpack.  He didn't need to sit here and take this.  He could go somewhere else, anywhere else.  

"How about I take you somewhere?" Gabriel offered as Sam started to walk away from him.  "I could take you to the library in Alexandria.  I could take you wherever in history you wanted."  

The offer was tempting, almost too tempting and Sam tightened his hand on the strap of his backpack.  "Why?"  

Gabriel didn't answer and Sam turned around to snap at him and froze when he saw Lucifer creeping up behind Gabriel.  Horror swept over him and he reached out.  "Gabriel, look out!"  

Gabriel was turning, his hand on his angel blade, but he wasn't turning fast enough, Lucifer was going to get to him first-

"Sam!"  

Sam snapped awake, sitting up in his bed, panting hard.  He dropped his head into his hands and groaned.  Even with Gabriel in his dreams Lucifer had showed up.  It had taken longer than usual, but at least he hadn't had to watch Lucifer kill Gabriel.  

"Sam?"

Sam jolted when Gabriel's hand gave a slow squeeze on his lower arm.  He snapped to attention and froze at the sight of the archangel in bed with him, eyes on his face.  Gabriel had changed his outfit again, wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt.  He swallowed hard.  "What are you doing?"  

Gabriel tilted his head.  "Sitting in bed.  I woke you up."  

"You were in my dream," Sam accused, yanking his arm away.  "Lucifer was about to, about to-"  

"Not quite," Gabriel said.  "I woke you up, because the alternative wasn't something I was about to do without your consent."  

"I..."  Sam opened his mouth and snapped it shut.  "What do you mean?"  

"So I figured out why Lucifer is still haunting your dreams," Gabriel said, flopping back down onto Sam's bed, looking up at the human.  "He left a seed of his Grace in you.  Not enough to effect your actions or influence you.  But enough to royally fuck with your subconscious.  It explains why your soul hasn't been able to heal."  

Sam shuddered and yanked his hands out of the blankets, pressing a finger to the scar in the middle of his hand, sucking in a few desperate breaths.  This was real, it was reality, Gabriel was probably telling the truth.  "What, what is the alternative?"  

Gabriel shrugged.  "I could have burned him out.  I can, if you want me to.  It'll be easier to do if you're bound to the Pagan side of me, but I could do it otherwise.  But I didn't want to subject you to that much Grace without you knowing what was happening and why."  

Sam stared at Gabriel, at his casual mentions of wanting Sam's consent at all times and felt a wave of gratefulness to the archangel.  "Thank you."  

Gabriel blinked.  "For what?  I didn't do anything yet."  

Sam swallowed hard.  "I know.  You didn't go ahead and do it because it was good for me.  You, you got me out, and you explained what was going on so I can make a choice.  Just, thanks."  

Gabriel reached out and cupped Sam’s face in his hand.  “You don’t need to thank me.”

Sam shivered and leaned into Gabriel’s hand.  He closed his eyes and breathed out, slow, willing his heart to stop pounding.  “You put my choice first.  I, not even my brother does that.  He always thinks he knows best, knows what to do better than even me-”

Gabriel pressed a finger to Sam’s lips.  “Shh.  I will always put your choice first.  Choice is rather important to Angels, remember?”  

“Lay down,” Gabriel ordered softly.  

Sam did as he was asked, but tensed.  “I don’t think I can sleep again.”  

“I’m not going to put you to sleep,” Gabriel said, reaching out and combing his fingers through Sam’s hair.  Sam immediately groaned and melted into the bed.  “I’m going to help you relax.”  

“ _Ohfuck_ …” Sam whispered, his eyes falling shut.  It’d been years since someone had touched him like this and fuck he used to love it so much…  

Gabriel smiled as Sam’s body went boneless beside him, pushing into his hand.  “You don’t have to decide anything right now, or even in the near future.  Consider it.  Ask me more questions.  In the meantime, I will keep you safe and allow you to heal.”  

Sam wanted to thank Gabriel, wanted to ask what was in it for the archangel, why he was doing all of this, but with every steady stroke and scratch to his scalp, the words drifted further and further away.  

“Rest well, Sam.”  

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Criticisms welcome!
> 
> You can find me here: http://aria-lerendeair.tumblr.com/
> 
> You can also watch me write fics like this (and dozens of others) live! Follow me on Livestream for fics, shenanigans and a general all-around awesome time! http://new.livestream.com/accounts/7212317


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